I lost one of my oldest and dearest friends to a variety of ailments on Saturday morning, February 6, 2021. We had said our good-byes, laughed, cried, and laughed some more. It was time for him to leave....I just wasn't ready to see him go.
Friday afternoon, February 5, I had received a cryptic text from one of the inner circle stating that Dale Dunn was at the depot and waiting for the train. The short, sweet text that came Saturday said, "Dale caught the express train this morning. He's on his way to see his Mom and Dad."
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My mom and Dale's folks knew each other growing up. The Dunns had always been part of our lives. BUT, I really didn't get to know Dale well until we had study library in high school. I was a sophomore and Dale was a senior. We had assigned seats and Dale sat directly across from me. Study library was supposedly a time to catch up on our work, check out books and magazines to increase our knowledge of the world but, frankly, it was a time for me to visit with Dale and catch up on the news of West Marshall High School. I never used study library for studying....I used it for silent laughter that hurts from holding it inside. I used it for finding out the latest information-- Dale was the Internet before the Internet was the Internet. He was a holding tank for all news.
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Fast forward through college and my first teaching job was Milford Elementary, Nevada Iowa Community Schools-- a converted township school that housed all the 5th and 6th graders in the district. We were about seven miles out of town....cornfields every direction that we looked. (Yes, there is a Nevada, Iowa.). AND Shazam, we were together again. Dale was a 5th grade teacher and I taught 6th....and the visiting began. Oh, he was great with his students....Dale was one of the best teachers of reading I've ever known.
That knowledge of reading took him to his next career after 25+ years in the classroom....he became a consultant for Houghton-Mifflin-- yep, he was teaching teachers how to become better teachers. Dale loved his traveling all over the state of Iowa, then he loved traveling all over the midwest, and then all he was flying all over the nation teaching teachers how to teach reading. He loved teaching teachers as much as he loved teaching students. The traveling was intense but I never heard him complain. He liked the other consultants and his mentors. He said he was always learning new things... and he usually passed those tidbits of information on to me. AND I promise he was always laughing and making others laugh. AND at the heart of every lesson was the tenet, "How does this really help children be successful in life?"
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But, the joy that comes with a friendship that old creates a deep pit when one member of the pair leaves this earth. Dale ALWAYS called me on my birthday. AND I always called him on his birthday. Dale and I went out to eat whenever I went back to Iowa. He called me "Little Erin." Not with malice, just a fondness between friends that accepted each other for who we were. We had a history of homegrown hilarity and humility.
When Mike died, my mom couldn't come to the funeral because an infection in her leg grounded her-- no flying to Georgia for her. Both of my brothers flew to Georgia immediately to be my family. Dale offered to go and sit with Mom during the funeral so she wouldn't be alone. That's the kind of friend he was. He knew what would comfort mom would comfort me.
So, yesterday was Dale's 73 birthday....and this one he celebrated in heaven. It was the first time since 1973 that we didn't talk far too long on the phone and laugh over our families, our friends, our health, society in general....and I know we would have been talking about Betty White and Georgia football. We would have talked until the all the nieces and nephews had been discussed, the kids, the farm, crops, weather, football, basketball, the Pantone color of the year, and which flowers we were going to plant in the spring.
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The thing I miss about Dale, and I miss it on a regular basis, was his unending optimism. Life was bad....but he always said it could be worse. Even when he was so sick, Dale was giving me advice and ideas on strengthening my reading instruction. He would rephrase my questions and make me come up with answers on my own. He was teaching me how to teach until the last week of his life. He was also forcing me to face the fact that his cancer was very severe and that his days on earth were numbered. He told me how nice the Hospice people were. He told me not to worry. He told me to use Sweet Potato vines in my flower boxes. He told me that deep red geraniums were a flower made to go with the American Flag on the 4th of July.
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Dale and I had plenty of real time adventures....like riding in a car when our friend caught her husband with a hussy.....we thought we might die that day. Or when we were hunting a friend's front tooth crown in a tomato patch at midnight and laughing so hard that we thought we would wake up the neighbors.....or going out to eat and laughing more than eating...there were no topics that were off limits.... no feelings that couldn't be discussed....no pretenses....no lies....no worries.
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So take that phone of yours and call a friend today for no reason. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Be supportive. Be kind. Be yourself. AND laugh.
Happy Birthday, Dale!
Eating and laughing since 1966!
