Island Time

Last week was too much.  Too much laughter.  Too much food.  Too much sun.

I'd go back in a heartbeat.

Our extended family meets every other year at Pawleys Island, SC.  We rent a house.  AND we laugh.

People that want a vacation full of thrills and excitement wouldn't like this.  We go to the beach, to the kitchen, to the porch, to the beach, to the kitchen, and back to the beach....you get the idea we don't do anything except enjoy each other's company.  We play games, we visit, we read, we listen to music.

One morning I was picking up shark's teeth at the water's edge.  Mary Michael asked me what I was doing.   I told her.  With awe she announced, "Nana must be the shark tooth fairy."  I told her I was going to put that fact on my resume.  I think it has a nice ring to it.

Island life is a fluid existence.  Each family has one night to cook for the entire flock....breakfast and lunch are foraged in the bulging refrigerator.  Snacking starts at about 9:00 a.m.  15 people living in harmony and laughter....oh, it's fun.  

One crazy day I had fudge and wheat thins for lunch.  I didn't write it down for Weight Watchers.  I was embarrassed but it was a great combination.

It's a simple time full of joy.

No one is in charge.

Mary Michael pitched a hissy fit on the eve before we left for home.  She didn't want to leave "her" beach.  The rest of us felt the same way.  We just didn't act on how we were feeling or we would have been right there with her--howling at the super moon and dancing the dance of the waves.

I would not have been a good pioneer....those folks were tough as a boiled owl!

Imagine putting your family in a covered wagon, saying "Bye, I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again!" to your extended family, and then slowly starting the trek across the United States.

1.  Hungry?  CATCH some supper.  Eat some dried something.  Find water.  No candy bars.

2.  Personal hygiene?  There's creek-- use some sand.   We don't have Charmin....we don't even have a Sears' catalog.  Shampoo....scape some bar soap into some warm water....but first, go build the fire to heat the water.  Cook your own soap from lard.  Get the lard from the pig you butchered.  Raise the pig.  Dang....planning ahead is important.  No Pantene.  

3.  Traveling? Rand McNally didn't have my atlas done.  How the heck do you ford a creek let alone ford something like a river?  AND who crossed the Mississippi first?  No signs.  No Wendy's.  No Mickey D's!

4.  Inner Strength?  What do you mean there are fleas in the wagon?  What do you mean I have drive the oxen?  What do you mean there's no place to have a mani-pedi?  Oh, ick!  Flies, gnats, mosquitos, ticks, spiders....and the list goes on.  

5.  Critters?  See #4.  Where the deer and the antelope play....and the mice and the snakes....and the beavers and the wolves.  Buffalo....big, big buffalo.  

6.  Sleeping?  Can you imagine the sounds of the prairie?  From coyotes to owls....it would have been loud....with those spooky nature sounds that make you think they have come to eat you.  But, worry not, you probably smelled so ripe any animal in his right mind would say, "I'll pass."

7.  Entertainment?  I'm too tired to sing around the campfire and the satellite tv doesn't work.  WHOA!  I've got to sew your clothes-- but first I need to weave the cloth?  Get back, Jack.  

8.  Unknown stuff....this includes strangers, bears, famine, plague, Native Americans, big rivers.....you can put anything you want in this category.  

9.  Bug Bites? Fleas, flies, chiggers, spiders, ants, to name a few!  See #4....this one seems to be a favorite of mine.  

10. General Angst?  The unknown.

The prairie grasses waved higher than our ancestors' heads.  The forests were thick with trees and underbrush.   Game was plentiful.  Their futures ahead.....thousands of miles ahead.  The pioneers were bringing everything they needed including a mind set of "It can be done."  Tough folks-- yep, tough as boiled owls!

And we're not even going to talk about Donner Pass.

The Family Armadillo

The party had just started.  Music, food, fellowship....it was a celebration of love and family.

The woman came up to Bill and said, "Is that your family pet?"   She nodded towards the bottom of the kitchen steps.

The baby armadillo was standing there with that armadillo look on its face.

Bill didn't miss a beat, "Yes, it is."

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We don't own the armadillos.  They own us.

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The baby armadillos aren't scared of us.  They aren't scared of the dogs.  They aren't scared of the cats. They are clueless.

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The armadillos scare me when they jump in the air and run real fast.  Bill says they aren't going to come after me.

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I'm not sure of that fact.  They have shifty eyes.

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Catch and Release

I keep my mouth shut when it comes to hateful and mean trash talk.

No profit in it.

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But, I have a quality that I should parlay into a new career.

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I catch people....in lies, in embarrassing situations, and in inappropriate vignettes.

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I am like a magnet being drawn to people doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

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You want to be sneaky.  Every hair on  my head stands up.

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You want to lie.  I promise I can see it in your eyes.

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You want to cut work or school.  I watch you drive off in the distance or meet  you face to face at the Krystal.

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In 1975 two other teachers and I were going to get tomatoes at a produce stand one day after work.  We found some wonderful tomatoes and we were excited about fixing our families bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches for supper.  We happened to find the husband of the driver of our car with another woman [sidebar: unbeknown to us he was doing the horizontal tango with her].  So, what do we do?  We follow them like a scene out of a movie.  Crazy, crazy, crazy behavior!  I was in the backseat thinking that this was probably not a good idea....but my friend was wild.  I think there might have been sparks shooting out of her ears.

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Our driver caught them.  Blocked their station wagon with her little car-- she hopped out and there was a scene out of a William Faulkner, Flannery O"Connor, Tennessee Williams novel all rolled into one.  It might be one of the most vivid discussions of marital harmony and bliss that I've ever seen.  The two of us left in the car had no idea what to do-- so we watched.  

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Our friend got back into the car.  Looked at us squarely in the eyes and asked in a lovely voice, "Are the tomatoes okay?  It seems like I've worked up an appetite."  She divorced him in a ugly, ugly, ugly divorce but we never heard her speak of that day again.

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Catch and release