I keep my mouth shut when it comes to hateful and mean trash talk.
No profit in it.
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But, I have a quality that I should parlay into a new career.
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I catch people....in lies, in embarrassing situations, and in inappropriate vignettes.
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I am like a magnet being drawn to people doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
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You want to be sneaky. Every hair on my head stands up.
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You want to lie. I promise I can see it in your eyes.
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You want to cut work or school. I watch you drive off in the distance or meet you face to face at the Krystal.
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In 1975 two other teachers and I were going to get tomatoes at a produce stand one day after work. We found some wonderful tomatoes and we were excited about fixing our families bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches for supper. We happened to find the husband of the driver of our car with another woman [sidebar: unbeknown to us he was doing the horizontal tango with her]. So, what do we do? We follow them like a scene out of a movie. Crazy, crazy, crazy behavior! I was in the backseat thinking that this was probably not a good idea....but my friend was wild. I think there might have been sparks shooting out of her ears.
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Our driver caught them. Blocked their station wagon with her little car-- she hopped out and there was a scene out of a William Faulkner, Flannery O"Connor, Tennessee Williams novel all rolled into one. It might be one of the most vivid discussions of marital harmony and bliss that I've ever seen. The two of us left in the car had no idea what to do-- so we watched.
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Our friend got back into the car. Looked at us squarely in the eyes and asked in a lovely voice, "Are the tomatoes okay? It seems like I've worked up an appetite." She divorced him in a ugly, ugly, ugly divorce but we never heard her speak of that day again.
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Catch and release
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