Is it a want or a need?

Bill shops with a list.  He keeps a running list of needed items.  When he goes to the store, he gets what he needs.  He comes home.

I graze.  I look.  I think.  I also have a list....but I'm not sure where I put it.  I keep a small notebook in my purse for phrases.  I keep a journal.  I keep receipts.  But when I shop....I look.  And dream.  And I don't need to spend one penny.

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Looking at how items are displayed is as much of the experience as actually buying something.  I really don't need anything, but I love looking how people in charge of displays group items.  

Don't get me wrong-- if I'm going by a yard sale and something catches my eye....I'm there.  I don't like paying full price for ANYTHING....but I try not to buy just to buy.

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I hunted for the refrigerator that I love (and still do) for ten years.   When I found it, I knew it.

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I listened to Susie Orman talk about wants and needs.  If we need something, we buy it.  If you want something, you need to think about it before buying it automatically.

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Things I buy automatically if they are on sale (a really, really, really good sale):

Lamps that give out great light

Sheep (not alive)

Oak chairs

Pretty yarn

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Things I buy because I have no self control:

Fresh magazines (Gun and Garden-- a new favorite)

Clothes that would look cute on my 94 year old mama

Linen clothes that aren't scratchy

Hand cream that smells so good I could eat it

Nesting dolls

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Bill's lists are legendary.  He's a stickler for sticking to his list.  One time when we were first married I sent him to the store to buy 2 lbs. ham.  I meant 2 pounds of hamburger.  He came home with the sweetest little two pound ham I'd ever seen.  "It was really hard finding a ham that little," he stated.  I learned lots about me and about him that day.

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God Bless Us Both.

That Gives Me a Pain in the Middle of My Forehead

Life slaps reality up the side of my head on a regular basis.

Like trying on a pair of jeans that are so tight, your head hurts.

"That's the way they're supposed to fit!" giggles the young girl helping me.

"No, not at my age, " I reply.  "People my age get strokes from pants this tight."

"Really?" she looks at me with wide-eyed innocence.  "I didn't know that."

"It's true.  Tight jeans are a leading cause of death in people my age and unwanted pregnancy in people your age."

"Really?"

Sometimes it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

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Get Out Your Sharpie!

Maudlin....my last post was maudlin.  I don't want you to feel sorry for me and/or my family.  I read in a book on grieving that the question is:  Would you rather not have the grief or have not had that person in your life?

Easy.  20 years with Mike was/is with the pain.

So, this week, all of us, need to get ready for Weaver's Weekend.  How do we do that?  Easy-- get out your imaginary marker....your Sharpie, shall we say......and start laying claim to living.

What are you "fixin" to get ready to do?  Is it tell someone you love them?  Is it cleaning your closet?  Is it reading that book you've been meaning to get around to reading?  Is it having the oil changed?

Bottom line:  We're not assured of anything.  None of us.  Not a one of us has the rights to the world of "Ozzie and Harriet."

Do your best at what you love.

Love those that bring out your best.

Enjoy the day-to-day activities of life.

Praise God from whom all BLESSINGS flow.

Some of our burdens are Blessings; some of Blessings are burdens.

Learn....never stop learning.

Think.  Do.   Laugh.

Live.  Life.  Love.

Ten Years plus One Day

Friday, August 16, 2013

I had a sweet yellow kitty, Daisy, that had a litter of kittens in my closet.  One was born stillborn.  Daisy licked and licked that kitten trying to revive it.  She didn't give up.  I had to remove the kitten so she would redirect her energies to the other kittens.  Later my mom sent me a little stuffed animal kitten.  Years after Daisy lost her baby, I'd find her licking that stuffed kitten trying to revive it.

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After our son, Mike, died, I understood Daisy's behavior.  She didn't want to lose her precious baby.  I would have still been licking.

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This is a tough week.  I am weepy.

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Training in Perry, Georgia.....rainy day, focus on the future, I can look back but I just can't stare.  Driving by Josh Giles' (Mike's pledge dad in the Kappa Alpha Order) homeplace this morning, I saw the biggest hawk I have ever seen sitting in the rain waiting for me.  Mike keeps me in his heart and knows when I need that extra message of love.....like today.

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Work has been a good deviation this week.  Shirley and I stay busy. Steve and I stay busy.  Armetrice and I stay busy.  It is a thinking job.

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I think.  I don't know.  I just don't know, why Mike?

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Friday........A knock on the door late in the afternoon.  Jennifer Moody Rice was there with flowers and a box of chocolate.  Jennifer is one of the Moody girls--the best babysitting family in the universe!  Jennifer was our kids' major babysitter during their growing up years while I was in graduate school.  What memories we have together....just what we needed.  Jennifer, Molly, Mike, and Dan......learning how to drive, sort socks, Moody Mush.  LAUGHTER!  Laura, Susan, Jennifer, and Catherine, the entire family babysat for us-- Harmon and Sarah Moody -- you raised fine women.

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A box of individual cheesecakes delivered to our front door?    Oh MY GOSH!  Chocolate and vanilla.  Mike would have loved them.  I had to eat one by myself....who are they from?......no name on them.....my guess....Rachel, Adam, and Stephen.....our angels on earth.

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Dan might come home.  We need each other's company a little more on August 16 than we care to admit.  It's just tangible proof that our hurt is still our hurt and Mike is still our family.

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Dan walked in the front door....just what we needed....AND he got to see Jennifer.  Those two immediately start in on who gets the flying pig lamp when Bill and I go to the great beyond.....some things never change.....the four of us LOVED it.  Writing names on the bottom of items with a Sharpie so the treasure is not put in the yard sale someday?  Really?   Howling with laughter one minute......memories of Mike and tears the next.  Trash to treasures-- such is life.  Things aren't really important and we know that--the people and relationships are!  I should write my name on Jennifer's foot....with a Sharpie.

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A long note from Susan Moody Jackson retelling a sweet story of Mike when he was a toddler.  He was a busy little boy and such a love.  This unknown story is a new treasure for my heart....it is written with a Sharpie on my soul.  Now, that's something to cherish.  

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Ten years and it seems like yesterday Mike was kissing me good night and telling me he'd be careful on his trip back to Milledgeville to start working at Loco's.

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Saturday, August 17, 2013

A rainy day in Georgia-- sleepy pets....laundry.....tuna casserole.... Georgia public tv......Orange is the New Black......mending Dan's shirt......laughing with Bill and Dan......talking to Molly......year eleven  has begun.

No, I Haven't Lost My Mind

After being gone an entire summer, there is a distinct smell evident to all teachers as they enter the doors of a school.  It's the smell of school.  Waxed floors, shining desks, windows sparkling..... there's a hush as you make your way down the hall to your classroom.

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My first day back always started a few weeks before the actual start of school.  I loved walking into a school when the morning sun was rising over the cornfields of Milford Elementary.  I can see the dust mites dancing in the sunshine as I climbed the two flights of stairs to my room.

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Plans were made...changed....made again.  Plans?  Plans.

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So, I thought I had retired.  I hadn't.  I preached to my Central kids to "do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason" almost every time I made morning and afternoon announcements.   Dr. Steve Smith asked me to serve my community and become a Deputy Superintendent.  What other answer was there than yes?

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The first four days are behind me and the year stretches in front of me.  The boys, girls, and I started on the same day.  Monday was just as exciting as the first day I walked into the State Center, Iowa Elementary School at age 5 in 1956.  Many years later, I know I made the right decision....I love being an educator.  

Erin Therese Malloy, Age 5, Brown and Pink Dress, Kindergarten

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I've visited nine schools this week.  Shhhhhhh, it's what I love the best!  Watching a great teacher teach is like watching a ballet...a good teacher makes you want to stand up a little straighter, be a little braver, and conduct yourself in a manner to make all of your former teachers proud of who you have become.

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I've delved into the number of students in the classrooms.  I've talked to teachers, principals, and parents.  I've listened to vendors, been put on committees, been invited to meetings, conversed with those passionate about education, and I have enjoyed a cup of coffee or two thinking about the concept of school.  These four days have flown.

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Welcome Home, Erin