Holier Than Thou

I can list my personal sins quicker than anyone.

If you think I'm perfect, you need to look at my side of the garage.  Bill's side is neat and tidy.  Mine, well mine, is creative.  It's free form.  It's exciting.  It's full of wonder. However, my car is not in there. There's not room.

I'd like to live in Martha Stewart's world-- minus the prison term.  I'd love to have the right ingredients to make a chowder with homemade bread croutons.   My challenge comes with looking in the frig and seeing a bottle of ketchup and a block of cheese.....and 15 containers of salad dressing.  No bread.  No fresh milk.  No ingredients for chowder. (FYI-- Andy Galloway makes some of the best soup in the universe.)

I just can't get it together.  I can get the house clean.  No food.  I can get the pantry full.  Dirty pets.  I can get the porch clean.  The laundry's not done.  I can fix supper.  No bread.  I can have clean sheets. The floor needs vacuumed.

Folks.  I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

My car has gas.  The inside of the car is dirty.  My hair is clean.  My eyebrows are shaggy.  My shoes don't have holes.  My slacks are too short.  I feel thin.  I can't find clothes to buy.  I feel fat.  I see thousands of cute outfits.

It is a Erin Weaver Law of Life.  Close, but no cigar.  I am not upset.  I just talk about it.

I meet women and men who want to live in the photoshopped world of advertising.  I want to live in a semi-clean environment with a happy cast of supporting characters.

But, the crazy thing is I'm content.  I laugh at myself on a regular basis.  I want to be a better person.  I want to be task driven.....but I'm happy writing about my faults and giggling that I'm doing okay.  I look at the clouds, smell the roses, and watch the birds on a regular basis.   AND I am going to clean my side of the garage, one of these days.

I think I'll knit instead of cleaning my side of the garage.