I try to follow all traffic rules. I work at keeping the Ten Commandments. I try to treat others as I want to be treated. I think I want the life of June Cleever or maybe the Momma from the Waltons. No such luck!
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I am having a quiet afternoon.......AFTER HAVING THE CRAZIEST MORNING I'VE HAD IN A LONG, LONG TIME!
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As a retired Nana, I was visiting Molly, Mary Michael, and Sally on this rainy Wednesday morning. Molly went upstairs to take a shower and Sally and I were reading a book. Mary Michael was watching Willie Wonka in the living room....Sally and I were curled up with Charlie, the brave Golden Retriever, in the kitchen in front of the big kitchen fireplace.
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Sally and I were talking about a picture that had a lake with three ducks swimming on it.
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"Wouldn't it be fun to have a pet duck in the house?" I innocently asked her.
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Within minutes I heard something falling down the chimney....a thud, thud, thud, thud, thud and something big came out of the chimney within four feet of Sally and me. Charlie jumped up, started barking and chased it. I was not making eye contact with whatever it was. (Even in times of emergency I thought about National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when Snots chases the squirrel through the house.) I threw Sally over my shoulder, grabbed Mary Michael with my free hand as we raced through the living room and fled for the second floor. It was just like a tornado or fire drill...the reptilian part of my brain kicked in and I was getting the heck out of Dodge! And I was taking my two bundles of responsibility with me.
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We charged into the master bedroom....I shut the door and secured the premises with an afghan blocking any entry under the door. The three of us stood outside of the bathroom door and shouted at Molly.,.,...."There's a squirrel in the house. Mommamamamamamamma. I am not going downstairs. Help us all. Something fell out of the chimney. " We were a cacophony of crazy. Then Charlie started barking at the bedroom door. He didn't want to be left with the thing either.
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I don't do "things" in the house. FYI
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We called Brad who was at work. A simple plan was formulated. We were to do something.
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Molly crept out of the bedroom door and peaked over the railing to the foyer. "It's a big bird. I see feathers." (It's a bald eagle, I thought. Turkey vulture. Condor. Great horned owl. ) She came back.
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Molly went over to the window. "It's too high, I can't jump out." We looked at each other and howled with laughter. Hey, welcome to our family. If crap is happening and you don't know what to do....laugh. "Okay, I'll sneak downstairs. Open the door. Go over to Mr. Lee's and hope that he's home. He's a competitive hunter. He can help." Molly left with Charlie right behind her.---down the stairs, out the front door--right into the pouring rain. Mary Michael, Sally and I once again barricaded ourselves in the bedroom. "Good luck, Honey." I shouted through the closed door to the sounds of Molly's footsteps.
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Sally started to tell me about Mr. Lee's lawnmower.
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Within minutes Mr. Lee arrived with a net and captured the thing. It was a female duck. It was a hen. Have you ever heard about a duck falling down a chimney? I thought not. We have adventures on Wednesdays.
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Time Hop is one of my favorite applications on my telephone. One year ago today, I was in Boston Common-- riding on the mother duck from Make Way for Ducklings. You're right-- I can't make this stuff up. I am going quackers....and I am enjoying the trip.
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