Dumb Things I have Done in my Life-- Number Two

1987

Ken Meakins, our babysitter who liked playing swords with Mike, and I were standing in the kitchen discussing plans for supper when the front door flew open and Mike ran in with two strange dogs following him.

The dogs, big dogs, big dogs who were NOT our dogs, started running through the  house....and began mating!

The big dogs, who, I REPEAT, were not our dogs,  got stuck together.  All three of the kids thought this was hilarious.  I wasn't laughing.

As the children clamored around Ken and I asking what the dogs were doing while I was screaming at everyone to try and get those strange dogs out of my house.  Ken calmly told the kids that the dogs were dancing.

I got on the phone and anonymously called a veterinarian's office and told them about these strange dogs which were now stuck together running through my house.  I innocently asked what I could do to get them apart.  They looked very uncomfortable, I stated.  In fact, they looked like they were in pain.

The vet's receptionist was laughing uncontrollably (she was laughing at me, not with me because I hadn't cracked a smile yet) and told me that they would become unstuck-- eventually.

By the time I got off the phone, the dogs were "unstuck" and Ken had shooed them out the door.

I went and got a cold glass of water for myself.  Ken was laughing.  I was relieved that those dogs were out of my house.

I looked out the kitchen window and saw a "flock" of dogs (none of them mine) which had now gathered in our front yard.  "Looks like everyone wants to dance with that nice brown dog," observed 4 year old Mike.

"Yep," said Ken.  "Looks like we've got our own prom."