Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Martha Stewart-- Nah, More Lucille Ball

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is brilliant.  It contains a glimpse of every family I have ever known.  Clark has a Norman Rockwell picture of a true Christmas in his mind.  Cousin Eddie shows up and proves to us all that blood is thicker than water.  And Snots is, well, Snots.

I have a genetic flaw that makes me want to have a Martha Stewartish type of holiday.  I want my house clean, with Christmas music playing softly in the background, the garbage cans are empty, the dog hair is not carpeting the floor, I am wearing matching clothes.   Thank goodness, I am always slapped back to reality by having something crazy happen.  

This year was no different.  I was sweating like a pig and serving food like a short order cook at the Waffle House.  I had the table set with my china, the food was finished, our friends were on the way....magic was happening.

Bill came into the kitchen and said, "I like your centerpiece."  I said, "Thanks."  He innocently asked, "Have you seen it?"  I turned and looked.....the cat was smack dab in the middle of the table cleaning her butt.  Dang!

Do you know why people serve wine with a dinner?  The cook wants to get shitfaced.

I am not a Martha Stewart.  I am more of a Lucille Ball.  

2 comments:

  1. oh my gosh...laughing so hard outloud...love you!

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  2. "The cook wants to..." in your case, because the cat just did. Ahem. Enjoying your posts!

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