I'm Looking for a Job-- I need to be gainfully employed

I have loved being retired.  I have had a year of doing NOTHING.  Oh, I do things....I just do things that no one notices.  I need to find something to do that is productive.  I wonder if I could get hired to do any of the things I do well.  I have made a list my talents to parlay into my own WalMart of success:

1.  Listen to confessions.  I'm not a priest, but I'd be an active listener. AND I wouldn't probably tell unless it was really juicy and then I might put it on Facebook.  But, maybe not.  People tell me things.  I don't usually judge.  I might giggle, but I don't judge.

2.  Cook.  I wouldn't be as heart healthy as I should be.  Remember, I am the one with a BMI like a carton of ice cream.

3.  Knitter-- I "live" to knit.  I can knit and purl.  I can't read a pattern.  Scarves and the idiot's dishrag are my specialties.

4.  Music listener-- I like it all....satellite radio was made for me.  During college football season I prefer sports radio.

5.  Tic picker-outer -- seasonal work....my fingernails work as well as tweezers.  I also do a complementary (to the animal, person, or tic as I am destroying it after I extract it completely from its victim) play by play free of charge.

6.  Reader -- I have eclectic taste.  I am a fast and accurate reader.  The characters become my friends.

7.  Writer....more for like the Star or the National Inquirer.  When I was writing my dissertation, my major professor asked me if I wanted to write a dissertation or a romance novel.  I think my pause before answering was the straw that broke our relationship.

8.  Antique looker (not buyer-- I like to look, look, look)

9.  Hair grower--  I can do this one in my sleep.

10.  Sleeper-- see number 9.  I love clean sheets, cool pillows, and  a good night's sleep.

11.  Coffee drinker.-- Kona, Columbia, Folgers, 8 o'clock, Starbucks...yum.  No sugar.  No cream.  A mug of the java and I am on cloud nine.  I love the Kruig.  I only drink coffee until noon and then I switch to unsweet ice tea.

12.  Crossword puzzle doer-- blue pen.  Poor speller.  Great dictionary skills.

13.  Vacation planner-- just ask anyone who has traveled with me.  Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long.  Not really, I never drive at night.  I like to stop and sleep.

14.  Theater goer-- I am prone to enjoying any theatre.  From "Kiss Me, Kate" to "Rent", "Twelve Angry Men" to "All About Opal", I enjoy the live performers, musicals are made for me....I can't wait to see my next show.  I saw "Million Dollar Quartet" at the Fox Sunday night.  Heaven, pure heaven!

15.  Bird Watcher-- Binoculars, bird book, warm sun, comfortable chair....I'm set.  Next level of this sport is....creek at the beach, dock across the marsh, binoculars, bird book, warm sun, ice tea, screened porch with ceiling fan slowly rotating and  resting in a wicker recliner.

16.  Yoga doer -- Yoga is great.  It doesn't matter where or when.  I wish Miss Sandra taught senior yoga every day of the week.

17.  Sea Shell picker-upper-- see number 18 and take it to heart.  It's fun beach-combing for almost anything except used needles, old underwear, and jelly fish.  

18.  Shark tooth hunter without the shark attached-- The hours that I've spent roaming the beaches of South Carolina looking for shark's teeth can never be recovered or matched.  It is fantastic.  I love the beach, the sun, the hunt, the quest, the zip lock bags to store the teeth in, the competition.

19.  Iced tea drinker-- Sun tea.  Unsweet for me.  Tall glass.  No lemon.  Simple syrup for those sweet tea drinkers (I don't want them having grainy tea.)  For the porch, when visiting with friends and family, a must.  A Must!  Icy, fresh brewed....summer in a glass.

20.  Pet petter-- Don't pet the wet stuff and don't sweat the petty stuff.  Raggs. Pawley.  Jack.  Mille.  Charlie.  Norman.  Mr. Biggles.  Annie.  Lucky. I do enjoy the animals that I know.

What's next for me?  Something.  I know.  Is going.  To happen.