Mr. Snake or Spring is in the Air

Spring Time in a High School--

A knock at my office door--  a very laid back teacher appeared in the door. She was bright red in the face.   In tow, she had one of her ninth grade boys.  To me she stated, "You're not going to believe this."  To the boy, "Tell Dr. Weaver what happened during Drop Everything and Read."  To me, "I'm washing my hands of this."  To the young man, "I'm going to call your mother and tell her to ask you what you did at school today."  To me, "I don't ever want him darkening my door."  To him, "Good bye, Good luck."  To me, "You're going to earn your pay today."

WHOA!  The teacher thrust a "write up" into my hands and walked off.

I read the discipline referral.  I am paraphrasing it's contents:


The ninth grade boy had asked a ninth grade girl if she wanted to look at his one-eyed "Mr. Snake."  The boy told the girl that he kept "Mr. Snake" in his pants.  The girl knew exactly what he was talking about and she had gone and told the teacher immediately.  The boy was still laughing at the teacher and the girl and wouldn't stop talking about Mr. Snake.


So I called his mother.  I wanted her to know that he said he had a snake in his pants.  I'm a good citizen.  We couldn't have snakes at school.  She needed to know her son had been offering to show his one-eyed "Mr. Snake" to a little girl in his class.  Would she like some boy offering to show her daughter a one-eyed "Mr. Snake" during reading?  Would she like to talk to him now or when she came to pick him up?  She thanked me and said that she would talk to him when he got in the car.

(I must say that most mothers are gracious when they are apologizing for their children acting like fools.)

He wasn't laughing as I hung up the phone.   I hadn't said one thing to him yet.

"Are you going to be a herpetologist when you grow up?" I asked him.  He had no idea what I was talking about...not a clue.

I told him to look it up when he got home.

No, you can't make this stuff up.