Friday, March 8, 2013

Lap Band-- I hear Lap Dance

Every time lap band surgery is advertised on television I hear-- Lap Dance.

Every time -- I hear that-- I laugh.

I suppose it's not funny to anyone else.

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It is a family story that has been told for over forty years.  I was sitting at the dining room table writing my essay to get into Iowa State University.  I innocently asked my dad, "How do you spell college?"  No, I will never live that down.  My brother, Dan, loves to ask me how to spell college.  (The word that I am the proudest for knowing how to spell is baccalaureate, just saying.)

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It's like saying to Bill, "I'm going to Yoga."  I have to think about that because what I really want to say  is, "I'm going to yogurt."

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For years I've referred to the refrigerator as the garage.

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Some of you may think I'm losing my mind.  Here's a new flash, I've been like this since December 4, 1950.

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I remember the day in graduate school when I couldn't figure out how to spell "was."

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In fourth grade Glenn Robinson helped me study my spelling words-- he couldn't figure out why I couldn't spell.  Lang-u-age.   Chic-ago.  That friend didn't want me to fail spelling and get an F on my report card.  Spelling has always been a mystery to me.  I hear so many sounds when I'm sounding out a word....I never had "Hooked on Phonics."

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When I started graduate school, I prayed to God for some way to pass my written comps and write my dissertation.  He gave me SPELL CHECK and Bill.  Thank you God for both!

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Some people would say I have specific learning disabilities.  I say I have different learning abilities.


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W-A-S

2 comments:

  1. Connect-icut. Gets me everytime. lol Also, I didn't realize "fikintu" was actually "fixing to" until 7th grade.

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